Rule 2 – Be Grateful
“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” - Meister Eckhardt
We live in a fast-paced, microwave, drive-through, buy-It-now society. It’s a society that has forgotten to be truly grateful for the things around it. We only tend to be grateful for things when we no longer have them. Think of the sense of relief you gain when you get over an illness. Consider how appreciative you are when those tests come back clear. Or when the speed camera doesn’t flash. Or when you finally find your lost child in the supermarket. These are the moments in life when we realise how blessed we truly are.
Yet how many of us truly appreciate that on a day-to-day basis?
My guess is very few of us. We only become grateful of things when we think we don’t have them. But here’s the thing: by counting our blessings every day, in a very literal way, we become happier people. Research across the globe in countless studies has proven this over and over again.
So, when was the last time you were truly grateful? Think of all the wonderful things you have to be grateful for right now. It could be your family, your health, your home, your friends, your brain, your heart, your spirit, your DVD collection. We’ve each got amazing things in our own lives that make us smile with joy.
If we can only learn to count these blessings every day, we’ll discover a true happiness and greater appreciation of this beautiful world that surrounds us. So, if you can, make this a part of your daily ritual. Count your blessings, briefly in the morning, and briefly at night. Then smile at the world for sending so many great things your way.
Be grateful – and you will be happy.
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Rule 3 - Say YES more
“No!” is a wonderful word. It’s powerful, it’s universally understood, and it stops everything in its tracks. By saying no, you’re instantly slamming the door and holding it shut, ensuring nothing gets through.
But how many of us say “No!” too often?
You see, “No” really holds us back in life. It closes us off to many of life’s wonderful experiences, and causes us to resist what happens around us. When we say no, we’re swimming against the current. When we say yes, we’re swimming with it.
Which do you think is easier? Which produces less stress? Which is faster, and more enjoyable?
We say “NO!” to life’s funny randomness, when a passing bus splashes rainwater all over our new jeans. We shout “NO!” to our emotions, resisting and fighting grief, when our passes away. We yell “NO!” when we don’t get that favour, which we think we so richly deserve.
We say NO to everything, too often.
We fight against what happens to us in life, rather than allowing it to be as it is. We resist it, rather than accepting it. We say “No!” rather than saying “Yes” – or even just “Okay.” By saying “Yes!” more to life, we go with the flow. Things become more enjoyable and positive, less stressful and anxious, and often the situation turns out for the better regardless.
So, SAY YES MORE.
And what about saying “Yes!” more socially too? Say “Yes!” when you’re invited to that party. Say “Yes!” when you’re asked if you’d like lunch with your chums or aquaintances. So, if you’d like to flow more with the current of life... If you’d like to inject a little more excitement into your day... If you’d like to enjoy the random twist and turns of fate... Then SAY YES MORE.
The Australians call it a “bias for yes.” The Spanish say “Si a todo.” Buddhists describe it as flowing with the river of life.
So, simply say yes more. Try it out, even if just for a week. It’ll change your world.
Say yes more – and you will be happy.
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Rule 4 – Follow Your Bliss
“When you follow your bliss, doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.” – Joseph Campbell
In life, it’s easy to end up in the “wrong place.” We’re doing a job we hate. We’re living with people we dislike. We’re keeping secrets, when we’d rather be open and genuine.
We get stuck and don’t feel authentic, because we’re not truly doing what we want.
Does that sound like you? If so, you need to find what makes you truly happy.
American mythologist Joseph Campbell summed up that process of seeking your own true happiness and authenticity in three simple words: “Follow your bliss.”
Sometimes in life, we all stray and lose direction. We’re halfway up a ladder we didn’t want to climb, rather than at the bottom of one that we do. By not following our bliss, we permanently limit our happiness and stop ourselves from truly enjoying our lives.
Are you following your bliss?
One thing bliss is not – and that’s money. Bliss is what you’re doing when you’re wrapped up in the moment. When you’re so thrilled just to be doing it, it ceases even to be work anymore. Your bliss occurs when you’re living for the instant, and time doesn’t really matter anymore.
So, what’s YOUR bliss? You may love teaching, running your own firm or helping others appreciate things.
When you were a child, and played with a kite, you were immersed in your bliss.
As an adult, what makes you feel like that again? And how can you increase that in your life?
Follow your bliss. You know, I have a theory that absolutely everyone in life knows what they need to do in order to become happy. It’s just that most aren’t brave enough to take the steps to do it.
So, that’s your challenge.
Take those steps, follow your bliss – and you will be happy.
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Rule 5 – Learn to Let Go
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond
the winning.” – Lao Tzu
Emotions are the things that make us human.
When we cry, we’re experiencing emotion. When we’re fearful, we’re experiencing emotion. Whenever we’re angry,
upset, passionate, greedy, scared – we’re experiencing emotion.
But sometimes emotions need reining in!
They cause us not to make that fantastic speech at the company conference, because we’re scared of the platform.
They stop us making up with long-gone friends, because we’re still maddened with anger. They cause us to stay in
relationships thatdamage us, because we’re still emotionally addicted to the misshapen void the relationship fills.
Emotions aren’t always good for you. You are NOT your emotions.
Emotions are just things that happen, and which youcan and should control.
Sure, that sounds easy. But here’s the thing: it actually really is easy.
The best way to let go of our troublesome emotions, the emotions that are holding us back from happiness, is to
discover the art of releasing.
So, what is releasing?
Releasing is the ability to realize that you are desperately “gripping”onto emotions in your life. You treat them as if
they’re “you.” Realise that you can let go of them, unclench your fist around them, just by making a simple decision.
How can you start releasing?
The simplest method is just to go through your life, recognizing where emotions are holding you up. Are you
angry about your home-life situation?Your working hours? That incident you just had with whoever?
Bring that issue or situation to the forefront of your mind. Connect with the emotion. Then, ask yourself: “Can I let this go?”
Can you let it go? Just for this moment? Could you release this emotion?
Breathe out, and answer honestly with either “Yes”or “No.” Either answer is absolutely fine.
If you can let it go, then do it. Really feel yourself letting go. Feel yourself releasing, unclenching, relaxing, detaching. It
should feel something like when a doctor tells you those worrying tests have come back all clear: an immediate release of worry and tension.
And if you can’t let go, don’t feel a failure. Give yourself permission to hold on to it some more. It’s your decision.
How does that feel? If the emotion still has charge, repeat the process until you feel better ,or until you feel like stopping.
Remember, letting go doesn’t mean you“forgive”the person in question, or that you approve of whatever behaviour or event that caused the problem. It just means that you release the negative emotion inside.
By releasing negative emotions, you’ll not only enjoy much more freedom in your life – you’ll also become less stressed and more emotionally stable
So, learn to let go – and you will be happy.
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